This is This

By Hal Roth

As a comics fan for more than thirty years and nearly a decade of experience as the assistant manager of a wildly popular comic books store in Florida, I have seen the truth about comics.

The truth about comics will no longer be. This is the truth.

This last week has been a whirlwind of events and I am forced to bring you the heartbreaking news that I will no longer be here for you.

Ms. Webster, who I have written about in past columns, has come to me and apologized for her actions. She told me she was suffering from an emotional overload and has now come to her senses. As of last week, Ms. Webster and I are engaged. We will be married in late fall 2003.

The owner of the store that I managed has had a life-changing revelation and he has moved to a co-op in Oregon. Before leaving he left me the keys to the stores and, I’m sure upon finally realizing my immense intelligence, looked at me with his waxed over eyes and said, “For you.” I am now the full-owner of Florida’s premier comic store.

I have promoted Jimmy, my stock-boy, to the position of Jr. Asst. Manager. He has filled the position with surprising mental dexterity, stating that all he needed was for someone to take a chance on him.

Rudy has found work at a major publishing house, as he should have long ago. He is drawing under a pseudonym, which I will not reveal. All I will say is that fans of Rudy’s work will like the work of the freelance penciler with the initials J. H.

Arturo, because of his expertise in technical graphics has been re-enlisted by the armed forces and is currently working at a senior capacity in our nation’s military.

My Green Lantern vs. Space 1999 project has been picked up and is being re-tooled for a multi-media launch. Terms like, “12 part mini-series, hardcover editions,” and, “The next Watchmen,” are being used in the talks.

So it is with your great sadness that I write my last column. Remember what you have learned, and don’t give up on striving to be more like me.

The Truth,
Hal Roth

The opinions expressed above are entirely the author's and do not represent those of Silver Bullet Comics, or any of its staff, or contributors.