Writer: Jay Faerber
Artists: Matthew Clark(p), Ron Randall(i)
Publisher: Harris
Le what! One bullet for Vampirella? Isn't that a trifle harsh? Well, I hope so. Let's follow the breadcrumbs.
The book costs about three dollars. A venti iced tea at Starbucks costs one-seventy-seven with refills at forty-eight cents. Jay Faerber and Harris robbed you of your time and three refreshing iced teas. Vampirella is worthless, and it had better improve soon.
The story pits Vampirella against a pack of werewolves, and that's it. There’s no depth. There is very little drama. Rarely do I believe Vampirella is in immortal peril.
Werewolves alone do not constitute interest. They are a staple of horror fiction, and the writer must provide some sort of twist to distinguish their werewolf story from every lame reworking of the hunter-shoots-wolfie-comes-home-and-finds-his-wife-bleeding-from-gunshot-wound story. Case in point, Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein brings a werewolf into the mix, but the twist is that Larry Talbot wants to stop Dracula and Frankenstein from wreaking havoc on the world. That's a twist. Robert R. MacCammon in The Wolf's Hour creates one of the few heroic lycanthropes in literature and in a grand pulp sets him on the Nazis. Twist! The pre-Crisis Batman meets a werewolf, and in his second encounter, he needs the afflicted man to provide a bone marrow for transplantation to a relative. Twist! Vampirella is a duel between Vampirella and the werewolves. That's it!
Apart from being unoriginal, there isn't a moment of excitement to be found in the book. We can see Vampirella is in little danger despite Matthew Clark literally putting her head in the canine's jaws. Even if the cop sidekick is theoretically in danger, his characterization is so wooden that the reader cares not a whit about his fate. Can thrills be found in a werewolf story? Of course they can! When Larry Talbot as the Wolfman confronts Dracula in the climax of Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein the scenes are action packed and invigorating despite their being situated in one of the finest horror comedies. In The Howling, a disobedient member of the pack chases down a competent heroine. We feel the heroine’s fear as she cries and pelts the beast with her fists. We feel her terror and sense of hopelessness as she is slowly lifted off her feet and her throat his clamped between the vice like jaws of the monster. When Oz threatens Tara, we care not only what happens to Tara but also Oz and Willow because the potential of Tara's death affects three people. It can be done. It is not done in Vampirella
The story also commits the crime of not knowing when it should end. You see one werewolf has escaped and in the next issue will pursue Denise his ex. Did I spoil that surprise? Too bad. The story does not earn a sequel. It does not earn anything except the ill-gotten booty of the subscribers who put their faith in the first benevolent vampire of fiction's butt-kicking reputation.
Vampirella is more than a pair of breasts and thigh high boots. She is a genuine super-hero and effective champion. She is the onset of a proud tradition that continues with Saint Germain, Sonja Blue, Nick Knight and Angel just to name a few. She deserves to be seen in something that invests nothing in plot, characterization or even setting. If Vampirella were a real person, she would be wondering why this story needed to be four parts when she could have eviscerated the Pack in one vignette.
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