Born to a destitute existence,
J.Hues quickly rose to the prominent level of uncomfortably poor. His real name
is shrouded in secrecy but if you ask him he might tell you it's Jason Hughes
(Dammit!).
Nothing much happened until he
graduated from college with a completely useless degree in English, and then...
nothing much continued to happen. Subsequently, J.Hues found himself working
at a toy store. Later, through some strange accident he fell sideways into the
IT field and has been trapped there ever since.
To keep his sanity, he writes:
novels, poems, comics, grocery lists, checks (too many checks), fake doctor's
notes... Maybe someday he'll get paid for all this.
A genius in his own mind, J.Hues
uses various grammatical no-nos to mask his complete and total inability to
craft a single genuine or unique idea. He's never happy unless he is blathering
on with his own obnoxious opinions and ideas. Wait, are you still reading this?
Read the damn column already!
“I’m not afraid of anything. I faced Death. I looked him right in the eyes, and I pissed myself, vomited on my shoes and fell to the ground rolling in my own filth begging for mercy with tears streaming down my grubby little cheeks. Guess I showed him.” --me
WON’T YOU HELP?
In this Twenty-Fifth Issue Extravaganza, j.hues faces a fate worse than death! Plus, the return of a Punches-foe you thought you’d NEVER see again, and we do mean never! Pulses-Pounding action in the over-hyped RWTP style! j.hues must battle his fiercest foe yet, and if he doesn’t lose this one, somebody’s life hangs in the balance! Don’t miss out on all the carnage! Featuring a gold-foiled acetate clear holographic lenticular cover enhancement with new shiny silver foil logo, flashing neon lights and an exclusive gatefold cover! Only $27.95, or a buck for the regular version without any of those enhancements. So why the hell would you buy it? Also available in a nude variant edition for $129.99. Quantities limited.
Now THAT, my friends, is how you celebrate a freaking anniversary! Ah, the nineties. Did they know how to party or what? Personally, I have no regrets about the thirty mint condition copies I have of Turok: Dinosaur Hunter #1 from Valiant, with that nifty chrome piece of cardboard super-glued to a thick cardstock cover for only $3.50. Heh, $3.50 is almost the price for a regular monthly comic now!
We’re going to try something a little different and fun from now on (or at least as long as I care about it). In my internet-surfing-when-I-really-should-be-working (this isn’t just a skill it’s a talent dammit!), I notice that the mainstream books get TONS and TONS of coverage and reviews, the mid-stream and buzz books get some coverage and reviews and the small press books get virtually ignored unless they get nominated for an award.
This isn’t really anybody’s fault. Let’s face it, most of the reviewers on the ‘net are just reviewing what they read and they’re only reading what they can afford and at ten bucks a pop (almost) it’s getting more and more expensive and so, for most, the days of randomly sampling small press books ‘just for the hell of it’ are virtually non-existent. And so, as I have serious problems and I DO randomly sample different books, I thought I’d mention some of those that I do sample. Sometimes I’ll give kudos and sometimes I’ll tell you that it’s good to have this comic book in the bathroom in case you run out of TP. Depends on the quality.
In my comics collection, I have literally hundreds of comics that Overstreet has never heard of (or if they have, they’ve got their data wrong on them) because they are so Off-Broadway they may as well be performing in a burlesque show off some back alley in Joplin, MO (with the guys from Paradigm). Look for the shenanigans to start next week when I look at Chiaroscuro #3, Tales from the Lair, Tall Tails: Thieve’s Quest #11, Opposite Forces #2, and Super Hero Happy Hour #1. I appreciate the odds they’re facing and since I bought them, why not help spread the word (good or bad!). Free publicity for them and more diversity in what I read for me.
Of course the best way to get a plug is not to wait and see if I happen to randomly select your book for purchasing in Previews, but rather to send me a review copy. It’s guaranteed a mention right here, and (if I get the time) a full-blow review over in our popular reviews section. I can be reached right here at jhues@silverbulletcomicbooks.com.
And speaking of free plugs. I laid it out there. You send me free stuff, I plug it. And so, next week I’ll also be looking at Freemind #3 and Metallix #2, the next offerings from the OTHER comics company in Florida, Future Comics! Boy, that’s getting to be a tight schedule. Hope I still have time to squeeze in a couple Liefeld and Byrne rips.
ROUND 1
I’m not going to beat this dead horse too much here, but last week I talked at length (as if I talk at short about anything) regarding the death of the ‘letters page’ and it’s inevitable replacement by Message Boards. I also cited a mention by CGE that they MAY drop theirs. Well, turns out that on the same day my column hit, CGE officially announced that they were so impressed with the derision and sound beatings handed to DC for their ‘information you all read about months ago online and in other print media’ page instead of letters page that they’re going to dump their own letters page for a similar feature.
Personally, I feel really sorry for the off-line fans who have no chance of being a part of a comics discussion anymore. I guess they could always go to the library and get online to find a message board to experience the interaction of a ‘letters page.’
I know, I know. The horse is dead. Just thought I’d update you on the latest nail.
ROUND 2
By now, the press is all over the supposed slip-up by Marvel in ‘accidentally’ letting slip some details about upcoming projects. Well, our crack team of reporters have uncovered the REAL email in it’s entirety! Evidently, it was trimmed down and cleaned up quite a bit before Doran sent it out!
**********
From: Doran, Michael Sent: Tuesday, January 07, 2003 4:49 PM To: Doran, Michael Subject: WHO WANTS TO BE MARVEL’S BITCH?
Hey You Guys! (Who Remembers the Electric Company!)
Yeah, listen. It looks like we have a bunch of bold and exciting new publishing initiatives coming up that we’re all pretty keen about and we’re going to have some press conferences about it. Yeah, I said ‘s’ as in more than one! Pretty exciting isn’t it.
Here’s the deal. We’re pretty psyched and since we firmly believe that the press and the comics fans are pretty low on the intelligence quotient we just know you’ll be just as excited as you are. Now, if you want in on this, you need to let me know, but you have to promise me on your mother’s grave that you’ll post whatever dumb pictures and other promotional crap we throw at you regarding it prominently on your website with headlines like ‘Marvel is the Greatest Thing to Happen to Publishing’ and the like. And no more coverage of AOL Comics and those other crappy publishers. You will henceforth be a Marvel fanzine!
If you want on the list, I need a copy of your birth certificate, driver’s license, social security card, most recent bank statement, DNA code and a sworn affidavit that you’d rather wear women’s thong underwear backwards than read any more of the self-serving egotistical crap coming from the punk-hack that is Warren Ellis and his BAD SIGNAL (not that we’re bitter that he signed that exclusive with DC at all!).
Michael Doran Marketing Communications Manager Marvel Comics
-----Original Message----- From: Quesada, Joe Sent: Tuesday, January 07, 2003 03:31 PM To: Doran, Michael Subject: RE: FW: RE: New Titles
Mike,
Hey Mike, you’re doing a great job. I think you should put together a list of who wants to come to these press conferences so we can have our people get with their people to get this coordinated. Use your own words (to develop your own rapport), but this is kind of the tone I’m looking for. Be creative, flex those mental muscles that got you hired!:
“Hey You Guys! (Who Remembers the Electric Company!)
Yeah, listen. It looks like we have a bunch of bold and exciting new publishing initiatives coming up that we’re all pretty keen about and we’re going to have some press conferences about it. Yeah, I said ‘s’ as in more than one! Pretty exciting isn’t it.
Here’s the deal. We’re pretty psyched and since we firmly believe that the press and the comics fans are pretty low on the intelligence quotient we know you’ll be just as excited as we are because we’re telling you to be excited. Now, if you want in on this, you need to let me know, but you have to promise me on your mother’s grave that you’ll post whatever dumb pictures and other promotional crap we throw at you regarding it prominently on your website with headlines like ‘Marvel is the Greatest Thing to Happen to Publishing’ and the like. And no more coverage of AOL Comics and those other crappy publishers. You will henceforth be a Marvel fanzine!
If you want on the list, I need a copy of your birth certificate, driver’s license, social security card, most recent bank statement, DNA code and a sworn affidavit that you’d rather wear women’s thong underwear backwards than read any more of the self-serving egotistical crap coming from the punk-hack that is Warren Ellis and his BAD SIGNAL (not that we’re bitter that he signed that exclusive with DC at all!).”
Okay, obviously I’m kidding about the Ellis stuff, but do whatever suits you!
Thanks, Joe
-----Original Message----- From: Doran, Michael Sent: Tuesday, January 07, 2003 02:06 PM To: Reinert, Brian Subject: FW: RE: New Titles
Brian,
Hi, you don’t know me but I work for Marvel now. Joe told me to email you about some stuff coming up. I’ll just drum up a new PR list and see what Joe wants me to do to coordinate the whole thing and we’ll just do that then what we need to do. Okay?
I’m gonna tighten up the reigns for the press to get involved with stuff like this, because personally I’d rather it just be Newsarama, and I’d love to drive the Pulse right out of business, but we’ll take what we can get.
Let me know if you want to go forthwith with this forth… with,
michael
-----Original Message----- From: Quesada, Joe Sent: Monday, January 02, 2003 11:02 AM To: Doran, Michael Subject: RE: New Titles
Hey, this just got me thinking. We should really try to scare up some more stupid publicity, I still laugh when I think of David actually thinking we were sincerely interested in helping his little book sell. Did you know he called me to thank me! And did you see Priest and that old guy on Spider-Girl. Well, wait until we announce the price hikes! Hee-hee.
Well, anyway, I figure we need to drum up some more publicity and I think we could do it by making Mike look like he’s screwed up with some fake emails and stuff. I’ll run it by him to see if he’s willing to take the fall in public for us. Hell, we might even have to fire him but it’ll be worth it if it pisses off the fans!
bj
Hey found the following in Bill’s old emails. I think we’ve found your leak! I knew they stole their DKSA shipping schedule from Origin.
Regarding the new April initiatives and new titles like Runaways, Thug, Crew, Quest, Infinity, etc, etc...Who the hell comes up with this stuff?
md
-----Original Message----- From: Rosemann, Bill Sent: Hump Day, July 17, 2002 14:12 AM To: Levitz, Paul Subject: FW: RE: FW: Just Brainstorming
Paul,
Check this out. I work for freaking tools!
-----Original Message----- From: Bird, Big Sent: Hump Day, June 23, 2002 00:02 PM To: Quesada, Joe Subject: RE: FW: Just Brainstorming
My god that’s freaking brilliant! I’d love to write one of them. I think I can answer all the lifelong questions like the meaning of life, the purpose of God, existence, why DC sucks so much ass. And I can make fun of Smallville. Can I can I please! You let Rosemann do his… that thing.
Oh and if you don’t I’m recommending your termination.
bj
-----Original Message----- From: Quesada, Joe Sent: Monday, August 14, 2002 27:22 AM To: Rosemann, Bill; Jemas, Bill Subject: FW: Just Brainstorming
Joe,
Have you seen this? I think the guy is losing it.
BR
-----Original Message----- From: Lee, Stan Sent: Thursday, August 13, 2002 03:22 PM To: Rosemann, Bill Subject: Just Brainstorming
Hey, you know how you’re getting ready to axe that jerk’s book. Well I just read him bitching about it in his column. F**king baby! Anyway, if you want to make him look really stupid, try this on for size. Make a big deal about the whole thing, create a contest, drum up fake publicity and have a battle. His book against two of the most terrible books you could ever conceive. Hell, have some corporate stiff right one of ‘em. And for the other one, you need someone who writes dialogue worse than I do. I’d recommend that loser who wrote those atrocious Spidey/Leno backups.
Okay, so you do all this to make a joke out of him, let him win the thing, jack up the price anyway and just cancel the book. It drums up publicity and gets everyone talking about the Mighty Marvel again. And it just pisses him off even more. God, I still laugh to this day about some of the poor saps I pushed out the door!
Another idea I had was to have a trash guy like 100 years in the future who snarls a lot and has super-powers. We’ll call him RAVAGE 2099! And I’ll write it. And it’ll be great! Oh wait, I think I already did that one.
Excelsior! SL
P.S. Where’s my f**king money you a**holes!
**********
All I can say is Wow! That old man’s still got some spit to him don’t he?
ROUND 3
Well, maybe just one more time ‘cause it’s so much fun.
DARK HORSE NOV020028 CANNON GOD EXAXXION STAGE 2 (PART 5 OF 5) #13 (MR) $3.50 OCT020042 CLASSIC COMIC CHARACTERS #37 EUGENE THE JEEP STATUE $49.95 OCT020045 COOP JOURNAL $9.99 OCT020060 OH MY GODDESS SKULD BABY DOLL WHITE T/S LG $17.99 OCT020059 OH MY GODDESS SKULD BABY DOLL WHITE T/S M $17.99 OCT020058 OH MY GODDESS SKULD BABY DOLL WHITE T/S S $17.99 OCT020062 OH MY GODDESS SKULD BLUE T/S LG $17.99 OCT020061 OH MY GODDESS SKULD BLUE T/S M $17.99 OCT020063 OH MY GODDESS SKULD BLUE T/S XL $17.99 OCT020064 OH MY GODDESS SKULD BLUE T/S XXL $19.99 OCT020050 OH MY GODDESS URD BABYDOLL FUCHSIA T/S LG $17.99 OCT020049 OH MY GODDESS URD BABYDOLL FUCHSIA T/S M $17.99 OCT020048 OH MY GODDESS URD BABYDOLL FUCHSIA T/S S $17.99 OCT020044 TIM BISKUP JOURNAL BIRDS & BEASTS $9.99 JUN020077 TONY MILLIONAIRES SOCK MONKEY STATUE $75.00 Okay, there’s like one comic in this whole section? What the hell happened to Dark Horse?
DC COMICS NOV020737 ACTION COMICS #799 $2.25 NOV020721 AZRAEL AGENT OF THE BAT #98 $2.95 Can you believe it’s almost over. I know, it’s like having to put man’s best friend to sleep after years of happiness. Only difference is you grab the shotgun with joy and unload the bad boy into this one. I just feel so sorry for all those poor artists from the 90s boom. The one’s who couldn’t draw a normally proportioned human face but got jobs still because Rob Liefeld kept starting new series. I mean, this is like the only title they’ve been able to work on in years. NOV020722 BATGIRL #36 $2.50 NOV020718 BATMAN GOTHAM KNIGHTS #37 $2.75 NOV020779 BLACK SUN #5 (Of 6) (MR) $2.95 NOV020754 FOREVER MAELSTROM #3 (Of 6) $2.95 BLEAH Winner! The winner for best mini-series continues to grow WORSE and WORSE as it progresses. How DC can possibly subject us to three more issues beyond this one is beyond me. If you see it on the racks in your store, pat your retailer on the back and tell him you’re sorry. He ordered this one before #1 shipped and he got suckered… and how! NOV020756 GREEN LANTERN #158 $2.25 NOV020802 HUNTER THE AGE OF MAGIC #19 (MR) $2.75 NOV020760 JLA THE GOLDEN PERFECT TP $12.95 NOV020803 LUCIFER #34 (MR) $2.50 NOV020790 MEK #3 (Of 3) $2.95 Warren Ellis is so far up his own ass he thinks the whole world wants to smell his shite. NOV020734 NIGHTWING #77 $2.25 NOV020766 POWER COMPANY #12 $2.75 NOV020775 POWERPUFF GIRLS #34 $2.25 NOV020768 SPECTRE #25 $2.75
IMAGE OCT021775 BATTLE OF THE PLANETS #6 $2.99 OCT021721 GI JOE FRONTLINE #3 $2.95 As if one trite, nostalgia filled G.I. Joe wasn’t enough for ya, here’s another one. And they even dusted off the original writer for this opening arc. I guess if you’re not a Joe-Head this stuff just doesn’t grab you like it should. JUL011264 HELLSPAWN #14 $2.50 Oh look! July 2001! This beats out even Spawn. Oh Todd, you are an evil genius! NOV021791 INFERNO HELLBOUND CONVENTION FOIL ED #2 PI OCT021735 MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE MANAPUL CVR #2 $2.95 OCT021734 MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE SANTALUCIA CVR #2 $2.95 JUL021185 MIDNIGHT NATION TP $29.99 If you struggled to remember what was going on during the series run (as there were thirteen to seventeen months between issues), this should be a nice and easy way to drool over that Frank art and dig on that JMS story. Definitely a great series, but $30.00 is pretty steep! JUL021199 SAVAGE DRAGON #103 $2.95 He swears he’s gonna catch up. FEB021570 SPAWN #121 $2.50 He swears too. He swears he’s gonna spend all your money and not give a damn about you! But at least he has a radio show. Well, not really. It’s on the internet. That’s like being a columnist on the internet. Wait, uh, it’s not like that at all.
MARVEL NOV022067 DAREDEVIL ELEKTRA LOVE & WAR HC (RES) $29.99 NOV022012 DAREDEVIL THE MOVIE OFFICIAL COMIC BOOK ADAPTATION $3.50 But I haven’t seen the movie yet. But I can’t wait to see how well the artist renders Jennifer Garner’s… sais. NOV022062 DAREDEVIL THE MOVIE TP $12.99 Wait a minute. I thought it was $3.50. What does this one have that’s extra? And isn’t reading a movie before it comes out like cheating or something! It’s like those novelized adaptations of The Lord of the Rings coming out before the movies! Appalling. Besides, adaptations are never as good as the original! NOV022053 IRON MAN #64 $2.25 They are raising the price because Grell took a book that is usually a hard sell anyway outside of it’s core faithfuls, and they made it almost unreadable! How much more can we possibly take? NOV022025 NEW X-MEN #136 $2.25 NOV022037 SOLDIER X #7 $2.25 NOV022046 SPIDER-GIRL #56 $2.25 NOV022043 SPIDER-MAN TANGLED WEB #22 $2.99 OCT022053 THUNDERBOLTS #75 (Note Price) $3.50 Let’s raise the price really high on the issue that changes everything. You see if you make the good jumping on points MORE expensive than the normal price, it encourages people to buy it because they believe it must be BETTER. Or it wouldn’t cost more. --Comics Selling The Marvel Way NOV022063 ULTIMATE DAREDEVIL AND ELEKTRA TP $11.99 Didn’t this just end… like yesterday or something. Man, these are quick. How long before we walk out of the movie theater and there’s a guy standing outside selling the DVD? NOV022040 ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #35 $2.25 JUL021518 ULTIMATES #8 (RES) $2.25 Far and away the best annual series in publication. Well worth the wait every year! NOV022032 WOLVERINE #185 $2.25
WIZARD NOV022261 AMAZING SPIDER-MAN ACE ED #129 (O/A) $13.99 JUL021727 DF BOTP LTD ED FOIL CVR SGN #1 $29.99 Okay, It’s kind of like the Dark Horse section. These aren’t really Wizard products are they? They’re gimmicks, and specialty items. Ah, what the hell, Wizard pays Diamond big bucks for this ‘Exclusive’ status so I guess they can hype whatever they want. But when the Shamus’ Stool Ace Edition hits I am so gone!
COMICS OCT023094 3 X 3 EYES MANGA COLL #3 $25.99 OCT023095 3 X 3 EYES MANGA COLL #4 $25.99 SEP021769 ADVENTURES OF JOHN DOE #1 $5.95 Dude I am totally digging this television series. Now here’s an adaptation I can get behind. Huh, it isn’t. Oh. Well I have no idea what this is then. OCT023096 ALICE 19TH #4 $7.99 OCT022589 ALICE IN SEXLAND #8 (A) $3.50 Screw Wonderland! I want to go here! NOV022710 BANZAI GIRL #1 ENCORE ED $2.95 OCT023097 BIG O #3 $10.99 OCT023098 BIG O #4 $10.99 NOV022798 BIG O PART 3 #3 (Of 4) $3.50 Speaking of Sexland… Didn’t some dude go to jail for selling stuff like this? JUL021932 BRIDE OF DEIMOS GN #1 $9.95 OCT023086 CAT RETURNS ANIME COMIC #2 $10.99 OCT023099 CHOBITS #6 $10.99 OCT023100 CHOBITS ANIME COMIC #1 $13.99 OCT022452 CRAYON SHINCHAN GN #2 $9.95 Remember when you were little and you would draw on anything with crayons? I remember trying to draw on my shins once and getting mad because the crayon just wouldn’t stick. So I drew a big angry mural all over the kitchen wall. You know, to vent. Then when Mom came home, she vented all over my ass with a belt! Ah, the good times! OCT023101 CUTIE HONEY LEGEND OF AN ANGEL MANGA #3 (MR) $11.99 Boy, if I were a manga freak I’d probably be needing to buy a new keyboard after looking at this list so far. JUL022033 DF THUNDERCATS ART ADAMS CVR SGN #1 $19.99 OCT022543 DFE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE ALT CVR #1 $6.99 OCT023155 ELFINA ILLUS SC (A) $44.99 OCT023159 ENOMOTO NARIKO PLUS NOBI NOBITA #3 (A) (Note Price) $22.99 Okay, I think I may have accidentally grabbed the foreign list. I’m up the the Es already and I don’t even think I speak the same language as a lot of these books. NOV022703 FADE FROM BLUE #5 $1.50 Alright look people. It’s $1.50. Do you read me. One dollar fifty cents. For a full-sized comic of the same level of quality as most of the upper echelon indies out there. I’m talking Stray Bullets, Strangers in Paradise, and the ilk. So all you bitchers about price increases who demand quality and value, why aren’t you buying this book. The creators believe that a lower price will encourage more readers. It works in every other entertainment medium. You trying to prove them wrong. Maybe if they changed it to Transfadefromblue or X-Fade you’d pay attention. Sheep. SEP022048 FATE OF THE BLADE #4 (MR) $2.95 The best non-TF book DreamWave currently puts out. Not too AmeriManga-influenced. Lush beautiful art, rich coloring, high quality storytelling and intrigue. Definitely should be doing better than it is. OCT023133 FIGURE MANIACS SPECIAL #5 (MR) $29.99 NOV022570 FIST OF NORTH STAR MASTER ED VOL 1 GN (MR) $14.95 SEP022601 FIVE STAR STORIES ENG LANG MANGA #3 $9.98 SEP022602 FIVE STAR STORIES ENG LANG MANGA #4 $9.98 NOV022465 GEOBREEDERS BOOK 5 BIG TROUBLE AT TOKYO TOWER $15.95 OCT023104 GUNDAM A ANTHOLOGY MANGA JAN 2003 $12.99 SEP022126 HEAD #3 (A) $3.50 OCT023160 HIGH SCHOOL LADY PATTY #2 (A) $10.99 NOV022298 HSU AND CHAN #1 $2.95 Those wacky chuckleheads from EGM (I think) are hitting it on their own. Another one I’m trying to see if it’s any good. I’ll have to let you know. NOV022398 INFERNO MAGAZINE #34 $6.95 OCT023105 INU YASHA ANIME COMIC #17 $16.99 NOV022811 INU YASHA PART 7 #6 (Of 8) $2.95 SEP021765 IRISH OF THE JUNGLE #1 $9.95 As an Irishman (by heritage) I wonder if I should be offended. I could think of a substitution for Irish that would cause this country to be up in arms! OCT022455 IRON WOK JAN GN #2 $9.95 OCT023107 JOJOS BIZARRE ADVENTURE #6 $7.99 NOV022626 KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE ILLUSTRATED #18 $2.99 NOV022627 KODT EVERKNIGHTS #4 $2.99 OCT022345 LAUGH DIGEST #181 $2.39 SEP021998 LEGENDARY COUPLE GN #2 $13.95 Wow, I didn’t know they made a comic book about Kelly & I. How flattering. NOV022769 LITTLE ORPHAN ANNIE LITTLE WORKER $9.50 This is a rare edition that spotlighted the years when Little Orphan Annie worked for 20 hours a day at a sweatshop crawling into the machines to loosen the gears when they get jammed. I remember the story where Foreman Warbucks was kicking her after she wanted to stop when the machine ripped off half of her leg… OCT023109 MAHORABA MANGA #3 $11.99 SEP021999 MEGA DRAGON & TIGER GN #2 $13.95 NOV022713 MONSTER HIGH MINI SERIES SET $7.50 SEP022619 MONTHLY COMIC DRAGON DEC 2002 $12.50 OCT023111 MONTHLY MAGAZINE Z JAN 2003 $9.99 NOV022425 NEGATION #14 $2.95 NOV022330 NINJA HIGH SCHOOL #102 $3.50 OCT023161 PEACH #6 (A) $10.99 NOV022707 POISON ELVES PARINTACHIN SET $7.50 SEP021792 PRIVATE BEACH #7 $2.95 NOV022813 PROJECT ARMS PART 1 #5 (Of 16) $3.25 NOV022670 QUEEN & COUNTRY #13 (MR) $2.95 NOV022572 RAIJIN COMICS #6 (MR) $4.95 I fell behind (missing 2 & 3) but this was surprisingly entertaining. What can I say, I just love a bargain, being the cheap bastard that I am! I will catch back up to them and have a reading marathon! NOV022816 RANMA 1/2 VOL 21 TP $15.95 OCT025226 RAYEARTH SPECIAL GN BOX SET COLLECTION VOL 1 (OF 2) (PU#552) $29.99 OCT022454 RED PROWLING DEVIL GN #2 $9.95 NOV022478 REVOLVING HAMMER #1 (O/A) $8.95 NOV022576 RGA MAGAZINE #6 (MR) $9.90 You know I think the average price of this week’s listings here is like $398.24. Man, comics is getting expensive. Okay, I know this one is SRP ninety-nine cents, but the retailers gotta buy ten of ‘em for THIS price. OCT022348 SABRINA VOL 2 #41 $2.19 OCT023112 SAIYUKI RELOAD MANGA #1 $14.99 If you put the word Manga in the title it guarantees sales success with all the Manga freaks out there. OCT023075 SERIAL EXPERIMENTS LAIN AN OMNIPRESENCE IN WIRED HC (O/A) $70.95 Boy, that’s a mouthful. And yet, I can’t help but think of serial killers when I read it. Maybe it’s because they want to charge me $70.95 for it. What kind of price is that anyway? Why not $69.95 like most normal people would charge? OCT023115 SEVEN OF SEVEN MANGA #2 $8.99 Forty-Nine! OCT023116 SEVEN OF SEVEN MANGA #3 $8.99 Or One. It really depends on if you’re looking for multiplication or division here. ‘Of’ usually implies multiplication but maybe something got lost in the translation. Hey look, Manga again! OCT023117 SHONEN ACE MAGAZINE JAN 2003 $8.99 Man, the manga is out in force this week! OCT022273 SHOTGUN HARKER #1 $5.95 NOV022430 SIGIL #32 $2.95 NOV022432 SOJOURN #19 $2.95 SEP022001 STORM RIDERS GN #8 $13.95 SEP021761 STRANGERS IN PARADISE VOL III #55 $2.95 OCT023118 SUPER ROBOT COLL MANGA $18.99 See what I’m talking about here. OCT023119 SWITCH MANGA #1 $11.99 It’s a conspiracy. OCT023120 TENJO TENGE #8 (MR) $10.99 I think they’re trying to take over the world. SEP022164 THIEVES & KINGS RIVERWOLF COMIC & CD $16.50 NOV022818 VAGABOND #15 (MR) $4.95 NOV022697 VALENTINE FULLY LOADED PACK $12.95 Something about a ‘Fully Loaded’ Valentine is a little unsettling. Not sure if I’d want to receive one of those. I’ll settle for the little candy hearts with the cute sayings. JUL022603 VALKYRIE PROFILE #3 $8.99 JUL022133 VAMPIRE YUI VOL 5 #1 $2.95 NOV022397 WARHAMMER MONTHLY #64 $3.50 SEP022002 WEAPONS OF THE GODS GN #4 $13.95 SEP022627 WEEKLY JUMP 12-02 WK 1 $4.99 SEP022628 WEEKLY JUMP 12-02 WK 2 $4.99 AUG022684 WEEKLY JUMP 12-04-02 $4.99 AUG022688 WEEKLY SHONEN MAG 11-22-02 $4.99 AUG022689 WEEKLY SHONEN MAG 11-29-02 $4.99 SEP022631 WEEKLY SHONEN MAG 12-02 WK 1 $4.99 SEP022632 WEEKLY SHONEN MAG 12-02 WK 2 $4.99 So let’s put together a great weekly magazine for the fans to really rally behind, and then lets ship SEVEN of them in the same week for a grand total of $35.00 for the fans to enjoy them! It’s brilliant! OCT023122 WXIII PATLABOR THE MOVIE 3 ANIME COMIC $29.99 JUL022134 YOU AND ME VOL 1 #3 $2.95 NOV022526 ZORA SHE VAMPIRE GN VOL 1 (MR) $9.50 You won’t take me alive! I’ll fight until the bitter end! This is a really strange list, actually. Boy, these five week months really cause havoc don’t they? I am gone kiddos. Until next time that is.
K.O.
disclaimer: the opinions expressed in this column don’t necessarily represent those expressed by any sane and rational adult; they barely represent the views of the author and they barely resemble coherency as it is; nevertheless this column is chock full of satire and parody (as protected by laws protecting such things) and as such don’t sue me. look at it this way, this is all for fun, don’t believe a word of it (even if it is true), don’t take it too seriously, and if you do take it, take it all with a grain of salt—better yet have the truck back up to your house.
