Born to a destitute existence,
J.Hues quickly rose to the prominent level of uncomfortably poor. His real name
is shrouded in secrecy but if you ask him he might tell you it's Jason Hughes
(Dammit!).
Nothing much happened until he
graduated from college with a completely useless degree in English, and then...
nothing much continued to happen. Subsequently, J.Hues found himself working
at a toy store. Later, through some strange accident he fell sideways into the
IT field and has been trapped there ever since.
To keep his sanity, he writes:
novels, poems, comics, grocery lists, checks (too many checks), fake doctor's
notes... Maybe someday he'll get paid for all this.
A genius in his own mind, J.Hues
uses various grammatical no-nos to mask his complete and total inability to
craft a single genuine or unique idea. He's never happy unless he is blathering
on with his own obnoxious opinions and ideas. Wait, are you still reading this?
Read the damn column already!
“The real way it goes is guilty even if proven innocent as long as the media has spun you into a monster and the idiot public has decided for themselves that you did it.” --me
PRE-MATCH HYPE
Hello and welcome to the SBC’s Big Wednesday. We’ve got new comics, new Fool Brittania, new Hey Buddy! and new RWTP. A well-respected professional from the British Isles, a comics professional and a pretentious boob from the States rubbing elbows every week. You likey likey? Yeah, me too. Could the world be any more synchronous?
Mr. Regie Rigby, a right jolly old chap from the UK, has spent years developing Wednesday’s at SBC into a day filled with intellectual and reasonable discourse. Well fear not, in the spirit of his hordes of teachers and other members of the “larnin” profession who frequent SBC on Wednesdays to find a refreshing and erudite exposition on all things comical books, this reporter will try really really hard to spell things correctly. And not end my sentences with prepositions. English is something I’m pretty good at. Oh crap, I’ve blown it already. It sure didn’t take me long to.
ROUND 1
How many of you read the latest issue of Ruse from CrossGen? The one that hit last week? Personally, I still find Beatty’s dialogue clunky and awkward as he tries to mimic the pseudo-Victorian speech Waid crafted for the series, but that’s not why I’m talking about this book. You see, in the letters page (you’ve heard of these right? Pages where the fans can respond to the books and see their name in print and get honest-to-goodness feedback and responses from various parties involved with the creation of their favorite funnybooks?), a comment was made by Gina Villa (she who helped create the entire Universe, acts as COO for the company and answers all the letters in the lettercols (see these things even have cute names like ‘lettercol’)). Well in this one she gets a letter from someone giving them kudos on not killing the letters pages like DC has formally (and Marvel has trimmed almost to the point of non-existence, and Gina indicates that there is a huge discussion going on at the CrossGen Maximum Security Facility on whether or not to keep these vestiges of comics past.
Come one people? What is wrong with the decision making yokels running this industry? Some of the most happening places over the years have been comic book lettercolumns. ‘The Legion Outpost’ (the lettercol for most of the incarnations of the Legion of Super-Heroes) was always chock-full of exciting people and extras (including the interlac alphabets), teases of what was coming up, analysis of characters or events, and of course the traditional voting for who the next team leader will be. But, DC argues, those needs are served on the messageboards just as well.
I beg to differ.
On a message board you have strings of incoherent conversations, not one-on-one letter/response from professional, letter/response from professional. I would much rather read a missive and see the professional response than get the following:
simple jack buncha pussies
lancesrealm bump to attempt to resurrect this thread. Rob, if you read this, would you please delete the previous post? I find it both childish and offensive. Thank you.
simple jack and i find your last post especially childish, but i'm not offended in the least, nor do i desire it to be removed. i prefer to let the children speak. sometimes, they have many useful things to say
ToddCam Re: Buncha pussies.
Is that the answer to that question? Are you referring to people who aren't attempting to answer that question? People who might answer the question? People who like postboot Legion? People who like the Legion at all? DCComics fans? People who post in message boards? People who use the internet? People in general? I just don't understand.
Also, Live Wire didn't die in LSH 101. Wasn't that Spark?
…
Boy that is definitely better than ‘The Legion Outpost.’ Absolutely stimulating. The DC Message Boards are indeed active. But the lettercol is supposed to be a place for interaction with a book’s creators. Not simple jack. Who the hell is this guy and why do I have to be called a pussy by him if I just want to find out some real information or look at some real feedback on The Legion.
Message Boards are a place for fans to get together and talk to one another about what they like, spout off, make friends, hide behind anonymous shields and sling dirt at creators. They are a great outlet and serve a purpose for the fan community.
But that purpose is not the same purpose served by a letters column. A letters column is the best of reader response, culled and trimmed for maximum pleasure. Rather than sifting through forty pages of some jackass spouting about how Superman could kick Batman’s ass and then having the fans spout back, you get one person asking this question and a creator or editor responding as a representative of the work. If the creators are on the boards at DC, and they are but sometimes hard to find, they’re not always responding to all the questions that are out there, nor are they always in the best of taste themselves (just check all the latest news about creators getting their posts deleted after they get all sensitive and pissed about what the fans are saying).
I just thank god for books like Powers, Savage Dragon, Paradigm, Strangers in Paradise and any other book that still embraces this forum (and CrossGen for now). One of the reasons I’ve always favored the monthly format over the trades is because of the letter columns. They are as much of the comics reading experience as the book itself. Even though Bendis is a retard in his letters column it’s distinctive and fun and occasionally even informative. It is a worthy addendum to his book.
It will be weird when only the small press and independent books are still running these and the next generation of fans (all six of them) aren’t even sure what a letters column is.
Remember when comics were cheap, interactive entertainment. The excitement of finding that loose change and reaching for the latest issue to see if YOUR letter was put in there. Well in today’s market where you have to put out a second mortgage just to afford to get that latest Marville and there’s no chance of YOUR voice being heard, a little bit of that magic and incentive to be a part of this little community is gone.
Hell that community is gone. A fun, censored, controlled and interactive community for anyone. Of couse we can all still go and be called a ‘buncha pussies’ on the DC Message Boards. There’s THAT community if you’re interested. But it may not be suitable for the next generation.
ROUND 2
Didja see the pretty nifty little half-page write-up about all the television series that are seeing comics spin-offs in the latest TV Guide. It spotlighted the forthcoming Smallville bi-monthly series by DC, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation by IDW and Arcade’s Alias: Agent Bristow. The Smallville and CSI blurbs had nice crisp photo shots, but alas the Alias one did not. Rob (Liefeld) probably got distracted by a shiny paper clip on the ground and forgot to commission it.
Well at least we can feel reasonably confident that two of these projects will actually make it to comic shelves, and when they do there are literally millions of potential fans who just found out about it and might be interested in reading more adventures (after all spin-off novels of popular series have been solid sellers for years!). Too bad most of those people have no idea where one would go to get this thing called a…. comic… book. And too bad the article didn’t drop the Comic Shop Locator Service number or website or provide any indication of how to find these books. But again, comics are gaining inroads into mainstream acceptability. Now we just need to achieve mainstream accessibility.
And somebody needs to take that paperclip away. We’re still waiting for Youngblood: Bloodstains, much less the continuing adventures of Sidney Bristow!
ROUND 3
Before you panic, this will NOT be a regular feature of RWTP. Hell, there are no regular features. That would mean I’d have to pay attention to what I was doing AND remember it the next week. And I am way too deep into my crack habit to pull that little stunt off. But to commemorate my new placement on the hallowed ‘New Comic Book Day’ for the United State, I am going to present a look at the books shipping TODAY. And don’t worry I’m not a manga freak who only likes manga books and hates all mainstream super-hero books (like some other review sites).
DARK HORSE OCT020043 FELIX THE CAT COASTER SET $12.99
Oh my God! Now I have someplace to put my Felix the Cat frosty mugs!
NOV020018 GRENDEL GOD & THE DEVIL #0 (MR) $3.50
DC COMICS OCT020813 100 BULLETS #41 (MR) $2.50
This was supposed to be more accessible with the stand-alone stories, and yet they are so mired in past continuity (that I missed) that I have no idea what the hell is going on.
NOV020748 AQUAMAN #2 $2.50
Yay! Aquaman. You know why they made the sea reject him don’t you? So people would stop cracking the jokes about his only power being able to talk to fish. And yet attempts to make him somewhat less than the SuperFriends lame-o he was have yet to result in sales. Take a note from the Michael Jackson. Whether true or not, public perception is enough to destroy a career.
NOV020719 BATMAN LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT #163 $2.50 AUG020302 BATMAN OVERSIZED POSTER BY ALEX ROSS $19.95
Now it would’ve been a lot funnier if it was Oversized Batman Poster By Alex Ross. Picturing Ross painting some fat dude stuffed into a Batman costume and seeing the perfectly rendered results would be awesome! Maybe he needs to just set up at the cons.. there’s always a couple running around those.
NOV020751 DOOM PATROL #16 $2.50
This book deserves to be selling better. The art by Tan Eng Huat is absolutely stunning and completely unlike anything else out there! It’s weird and quirky and I’m proud of DC because I never expected it to make it this far. We’ll see how much farther it can go. You know, though, some TPB collections of earlier issues would help. Something tells me this could do well in the book market.
NOV020795 FABLES #9 (MR) $2.50
Wow is this solid storytelling. Half the fun is trying to figure out from what original source the characters have come from. Wrap it up with good characterization and an intriguing premise and it's no wonder this book is growing in sales numbers.
NOV020780 GEN 13 #5 $2.95
In contrast to what Claremont does in the book I will say this. This is a pretty good book. You should read it.
Speaking of books that are getting a bad rep, here’s one. Personally, I never had a problem with Whilce Portacio’s art. I thought it was dynamic, experimental and unique. And the storytelling and dialogue are second-to-none. The problem is it got some initial bad press (a la The Power Company) and hasn’t been able to recover. Proof of my ‘Fanboy Sheep Mentality’ theory I’m currently writing my doctoral thesis on.
NOV020744 SUPERMAN & BATMAN GENERATIONS III #1 (Of 12) $2.95
This one’s guaranteed to last longer than Lab Rats. Clever strategy by Mr. Byrne to ensure work for at least one year.
NOV020738 SUPERMAN THE 10 CENT ADVENTURE $0.10
It worked for Batman. Can it work for the Man of Steel. Probably. He is the most well-known character in all of comics worldwide so if an initiative like this doesn’t work. Now it just has to have a solid story to go with it. If you can’t pick up a dime comic than you don’t deserve to bitch about high comic prices though.
JUL020210 THUNDER AGENTS ARCHIVES VOL 1 HC $49.95 JUL020269 THUNDER AGENTS ARCHIVES VOL 1/DYNAMO STATUE SPECIAL OFFER $175.00
If you buy them together you save almost $25.00! If your store actually stocks these things on their shelves the owner must be rich.
JUL020270 THUNDER AGENTS DYNAMO STATUE $149.95 NOV020806 VERTIGO POP LONDON #3 (Of 4) (MR) $2.95 NOV020807 WAR STORY CONDORS (MR) $4.95 OCT020782 WILL EISNERS NAME OF THE GAME SC $19.95 NOV020791 ZERO GIRL FULL CIRCLE #3 (Of 5) (MR) $2.95
If crack is too expensive, and LSD has got you strapped, never fear. Sam Keith is here. The same results at only a fraction of the cost.
IMAGE SEP021161 DEFIANCE #5 $2.95
I was supposed to get a mention on the cover of the last one for an earlier good review I gave them, but I didn’t. Bastards.
Somebody forgot to tell Top Cow that we don’t do Prismatic Foil Covers anymore. But then again we don’t do ‘bad girls’ with big hooters anymore. Oh well, maybe Jim McLaughlin can turn this boat around. He knows how to call the fans stupid, so that’s a change of pace.
MARVEL NOV022058 BLACK PANTHER #53 $2.50 NOV022072 CALL OF DUTY VOL 2 TP $9.99 NOV022013 DAREDEVIL #41 $0.10
Lookie here! Another one. You can get two different comic books today for only twenty cents! And this one is guaranteed to be excellent because it’s by the Bendis/Maleev team that has turned this book into one of the best books on the market (though it isn’t even a superhero book anymore).
Didn’t we like JUST HAVE a Hulk/Wolverine cross-over. Sheesh, I realize they have movies coming out but how shameless can you get. Oh, and yet I forget Spider-Man’s Get Kraven. Never mind.
NOV022051 INCREDIBLE HULK #49 $2.25
Hues read comic. Hues like. Hues smash puny fans who not read comic.
Probably the least exciting project the Ultimate line has thrown out (and remember Ultimate Adventures has not been voted into the official ‘Ultimate Canon’ yet. Nor will it ever be! I don’t care how much BJ begs
Wow, I hope you got some time off coming up this week. Gen 13, Mekanix and this one all in one week. All by Chris Claremont! I’ll race you. You read those, I’ll read Les Miserables, we’ll see who gets done first!
WIZARD NOV022253 TOYFARE BEST TOYS OF 2002 CVR #67 $4.99 NOV022252 TOYFARE DAREDEVIL MOVIE TOY CVR #67 $4.99
COMICS OCT022411 3 LITTLE KITTENS DLX ED #3 (Of 3) $19.99
Ooh… Deluxe! $20.00 for a fancier edition of this book. If you have to drop Supes and DD to be able to afford this.
OCT022652 AMERIMANGA #1 $7.99 OCT022336 ARCHIE AND FRIENDS #66 $2.19 SEP022049 ARKANIUM #3 $2.95 OCT022390 BASEMENT COMICS AMRYL SAN DIEGO 2002 JAM BOOK CVR A $5.00 OCT022391 BASEMENT COMICS AMRYL SAN DIEGO 2002 JAM BOOK CVR B $5.00 OCT022267 BEST OF THE WEST #33 (Note Price) $6.95 OCT022338 BETTY #121 $2.19 OCT022341 BETTY & VERONICA DOUBLE DIGEST #112 $3.59 JUL022107 CHERRY COLL VOL 3 TP NEW PRTG (A) $16.00 OCT022764 DOGWITCH #3 (MR) $2.95 AUG021790 DOLL & CREATURE GN $12.95 AUG022038 DORK TOWER #21 $2.99
Finally got a look at these. They really do look sharp in this format. If you’ve been on the fence about the CGU, for only $16.00 you can be reading the whole line! Definitely worth at least looking at in the shops. The CGU is a very rich tapestry that is unfolding in a slower pace than standard superhero fare. More like a novel. So if you need to see an X in the title, or look for the big fight scene in every issue, this universe may not be for you, but for the rest of you, check it out.
OCT022407 FUTURAMA SIMPSONS SPECIAL CROSSOVER CRISIS #2 (Of 2) $2.50
Well it’s about freaking time! This is spectacular, but hopefully your shop still has copies of #1 if you missed it! A nice collection is in order.
NOV022661 GENERAL MILLS CEREAL 1979 MARVEL SUPER HEROES GIVEAWAY $15.00
Somebody hold me back! This is the greatest offering since… since… Civilian Justice!.
A strange little book that I happen to enjoy. A supernatural western that is definitely worth your attention. And it looks like it’s going to be ongoing. They mix the actual history of the Doc, filling in the blank spaces with the weird and bizarre and it makes for a unique and fun romp the likes of which we haven’t seen since Desperadoes.
NOV022408 IMAGES ANNUAL #1 PI NOV022662 INNOVATION COMICS GREATEST HITS SET #1 $9.95 OCT022474 JUNGLE FANTASY AL RIO CVR #1/2 $3.95 OCT022477 JUNGLE FANTASY AL RIO NUDE CVR #1/2 (MR) $6.00
That’s it. This is what will save comics. Nude variant covers.
OCT022476 JUNGLE FANTASY MATT MARTIN CVR #1/2 $3.95 OCT022478 JUNGLE FANTASY MATT MARTIN NUDE CVR #1/2 (MR) $6.00
Imagine if novels and DVDs and video games did this. They would be so cool that everyone would want to be like them. But no, only comics are cool enough to charge you $2.00 for a line drawing of breasts. Wonder how the comics audience (Joe ComicsFan) is perceived by the industry. Wonder no more. Fill it with ads for 1-900-LUV-PORN and the image is complete.
OCT022475 JUNGLE FANTASY RON ADRIAN CVR #1/2 $3.95 OCT022797 KODOCHA VOL 5 SANAS STAGE GN (Of 10) $9.99 NOV022467 LODOSS WAR DEEDLITS TALE VOL 2 TP $15.95 AUG021898 MADAME TARANTULA SP ED CVR #0 PI NOV022424 MYSTIC #32 $2.95 NOV022571 RAIJIN COMICS #5 (MR) $4.95
This is actually pretty damned entertaining. And I’m not a manga guy, but I do love a bargain, and this is that… in SPADES! Plus, I love anthologies and wish they could make a return to these shores (and no I don’t really count Threshold. It is not a diverse anthology of creators exploring the medium in new and exciting ways. It is bouncing boobies and naked variant covers for $2.00 extra).
NOV022575 RGA MAGAZINE #5 (MR) $9.90 OCT022827 SHONEN JUMP VOL 1 #2 FEBRUARY 2003 $4.95 NOV022357 SONIC SUPER SPECIAL #10 (O/A) $2.29 NOV022358 SONIC SUPER SPECIAL #11 (O/A) $2.29 NOV022359 SONIC SUPER SPECIAL #12 (O/A) $2.49 NOV022360 SONIC SUPER SPECIAL #13 (O/A) $2.49 NOV022361 SONIC SUPER SPECIAL #14 (O/A) $2.49 NOV022362 SONIC SUPER SPECIAL #15 (O/A) $2.49 NOV022355 SONIC SUPER SPECIAL #8 (O/A) $2.25 NOV022356 SONIC SUPER SPECIAL #9 (O/A) $2.29
Now your collection can be complete. I was feeling like I might never find that Sonic Super Special #11.
NOV022782 SPIDER HC SCAVENGERS OF SLAUGHTERED SACRIFICES $27.95 JUN022555 SPIRITED AWAY VOL 2 TP $9.95 JUL022342 SPIRITED AWAY VOL 3 TP $9.95 OCT022444 STUFF OUTA MY HEAD COLLECTORS ED HC (MR) $27.95 OCT022443 STUFF OUTA MY HEAD TP (MR) $10.95 NOV022560 SUPER HERO HAPPY HOUR #1 $3.00
I ordered this based on the solicitation. Looks like a light-hearted different take on the superheroes hanging out in the bar with some crips Herobear-ish art. We’ll see how it turns out.
JUL021856 TIGRESS TALES #4 $2.95 AUG021899 TIGRESS TALES SP ED #4 PI NOV022490 TRANSFORMERS WAR WITHIN #4 $2.95 AUG021818 VAMPI #24 DLX ED $9.95 AUG021817 VAMPI #24 REG ED $2.99 OCT022361 VESIL VOL 2 #1 (A) $2.95 OCT022524 WARLANDS VOL 3 #2 $2.95 SEP021872 WARREN ELLIS STRANGE KILLINGS BODY ORCHARD #5 (Of 6) (MR) $3.50 SEP021873 WARREN ELLIS STRANGE KILLINGS BODY ORCHARD #5 WRAPAROUND (OF 6) $3.95 NOV022431 WAY OF THE RAT #9 $2.95 JUN022305 WHITE FLOWER DAY GN $14.95 SEP021839 YOUNGBLOOD #1 SAN DIEGO CON 2002 LTD ED $9.99 SEP021840 YOUNGBLOOD #1 SAN DIEGO CON 2002 LTD S&N ED $19.99
How can we get the Limited Editions before we get the book. Rob? How? Why? You really need to put down that paperclip and pay attention to what’s goin on.
Good. Thank you. Oh crap, I dropped a dime. No, no I can get it….
…
Dammit, Too late. Now we’ll never get to see the return of Troll.
K.O.
disclaimer: the opinions expressed in this column don’t necessarily represent those expressed by any sane and rational adult; they barely represent the views of the author and they barely resemble coherency as it is; nevertheless this column is chock full of satire and parody (as protected by laws protecting such things) and as such don’t sue me. look at it this way, this is all for fun, don’t believe a word of it (even if it is true), don’t take it too seriously, and if you do take it, take it all with a grain of salt—better yet have the truck back up to your house.
