"Those who can, do. Those who can’t, bitch about it on the Internet." -Simon, from The Book of Simon
Some bios list credentials, such as: Education BFA in Illustration, Massachusetts College of Art Occupation Former Production Slave, Ballantine Books Comics Credits Columnist, Writer, Artist, Editor Etc…
And some bios tell a story, such as: I can remember sitting in front of my television one morning, watching the old Batman show, when Julie Newmar appeared in that skintight black leather outfit as Catwoman. It was my first boy/girl thing. >A year later I was in kindergarten telling Katherine Burke that I loved her. It’s pretty much been a string of stupid mistakes ever since…
Still other bios state an intent, such as: This is a series of essays illustrating the life of one particular struggling artist as he plods through the world and occasionally bumps into some interesting shit.
But most bios just sit to the right of the column and are never looked at. So ignore this space and just read the damn column already…
That same night, three hundred miles north of Putnam, in a little town on the shores of Lake Winnipesaukee, two men entered a darkened house. One man led and the other followed. They walked through the front room, down a hall, and into a bedroom. In the bedroom, a string hung from a panel in the ceiling. The leader pulled the string to reveal a ladder to the attic above. Long settled dust scattered as they took each step.
The attic had been renovated years ago, a makeshift office with a desk, a chair, two bookshelves, and pictures mounted on the walls. The man in charge walked along the wall, examining each picture. He stopped at one, an imagine that was familiar to both men. He felt along the edges until he found a latch. As the picture swung away from the wall, it revealed a built-in safe behind it. The leader had a key. He unlocked the safe and pulled out the contents inside. The safe contained an assortment of large envelopes and files. He looked through them all, but didn’t find what he was searching for. The other man inspected the safe. Reaching far to the back he pulled out a book. Opening it, he found a collection of news clippings pasted into it. He felt the cardboard cover, a bulge rising in the center.
The leader grabbed an envelope opener from the desk and cut the book cover open. Underneath the paper was another envelope. He looked inside and nodded to his partner. His partner made a gesture, as if to ask if he could keep the scrapbook. The man in charge gave his approval.
Taking out the key, the leader moved the picture back into position and the two men made their exit.
The picture on the wall was of the Putnam County Nuclear Power Plant.
