"Those who can, do. Those who can’t, bitch about it on the Internet." -Simon, from The Book of Simon
Some bios list credentials, such as: Education BFA in Illustration, Massachusetts College of Art Occupation Former Production Slave, Ballantine Books Comics Credits Columnist, Writer, Artist, Editor Etc…
And some bios tell a story, such as: I can remember sitting in front of my television one morning, watching the old Batman show, when Julie Newmar appeared in that skintight black leather outfit as Catwoman. It was my first boy/girl thing. >A year later I was in kindergarten telling Katherine Burke that I loved her. It’s pretty much been a string of stupid mistakes ever since…
Still other bios state an intent, such as: This is a series of essays illustrating the life of one particular struggling artist as he plods through the world and occasionally bumps into some interesting shit.
But most bios just sit to the right of the column and are never looked at. So ignore this space and just read the damn column already…
Putnam looked the same. Years had passed since Megan had last driven these streets, but there wasn’t even a pause when it came to navigating about town. The Kroeger house was at the top of a hill, at the end of a side street that emptied into a main road, that went directly through the center of town. Trafalgar Brothers Funeral Home was on a street off the southwest corner of the square, after the antiquated firehouse that had been turned into a pet supply store and before the mall on the near side of the highway, as opposed to the mall on the far side of the highway.
Megan had mixed feelings of nostalgia when passing her old haunts. Just before the north entrance to the square was Hadley Park, where she had played soccer for one year, softball for two, and half a season of field hockey before an unfortunate incident with a stick landed her in the hospital receiving sixteen stitches to seal the gash in her lower lip. She still had the scar.
It was the end of summer, the beginning of the school year, and a group of young boys were running laps around the park as part of football practice. There were maybe two dozen total, a large group leading the pack and three strays struggling further back. The windows of the Impreza were down and Megan could hear the screams of the coach berating the trio of stragglers, using taunts and insults as his mean-spirited, not-so-unique brand of inspiration. At that point Megan remembered why she’d given up sports after the field hockey accident. She pictured in her mind the throngs of parents reliving their youth vicariously through their children, sharing the joy of each victory and pretending not to be embarrassed by each defeat. Putnam was a town where people had trouble giving up things from the past.
The fact that Putnam was even still a town was living proof of that fact. Compared to the four cities that bordered it, Putnam was almost equal in area to all of them combined. It laid claim to centers of commerce and industry for a region ten miles in diameter. The town had an industrial park, two malls, a long strip of warehouse stores, the largest reservoir on the North Shore, and, at one time, a nuclear power plant, not to mention being adjacent to the highway leading straight into Boston, a half hour to the south. Over the last fifty years Putnam had gone from a large sprawl of farmland to the richest community around. And yet, as other places became cities and descended into a collection of rundown takeout shops and low-income housing projects, Putnam remained a town and continued to prosper more with every year.
The locals will claim that it’s because of two things. First off, everything that pulls a profit in Putnam is owned by families with at least three generations having lived in the town. Unless your grandparents and parents were citizens before you, there was little chance you’d be able to open up a Target or a TJMax and see it become successful. It wasn’t so much about who you knew as it was who knew you that would get the word out that your business had received the thumbs up from the Townies. And secondly, in order to even open a new business in Putnam you had to get the approval of the Board of Selectmen. Depending on your status you could get that blessing in as little as a few hours, thanks to an informal meeting held over the phones or at the local roast beef restaurant, or as long as a few years, because maybe someone better connected had mentioned something about opening a store similar to the one you proposed and the board was waiting to see if their friend decided to go ahead with his idea. Growth was encouraged, because growth meant more money. But growth was closely monitored so that the money went to the proper people.
The Kroeger family was one such clan that benefited from the Putnam system. Almost fifty years ago, when the country was still crazy about the glimmering hope of nuclear power, Aldus Kroeger, father of Greta and Murphy and an avid reader of Popular Science magazine, easily convinced the board to back his idea to build a plant in the town. With their go ahead a matter of public record, Aldus had no trouble getting massive loans from the local banks and obtaining a large tract of land on the southern shore of Lesterton Lake. Everyone was happy to back such a magnificent enterprise, one that was sure to make Putnam the talk of the Greater Boston area. It was on this enthusiasm that Aldus eventually made the fortune that would soon be such a hotly disputed subject amongst his grandchildren. Megan was extremely hesitant to broach a conversation with Greta involving her mother’s will, or lack thereof. Since breakfast she had been picturing the storm clouds, already gathered from the matriarch’s death, rapidly blackening once money was involved. She wasn’t after any of the cash herself, but her spite couldn’t help but make her a little resentful that her two brothers, both of whom had no doubt helped exacerbate her mother’s condition, and didn’t give a damn about their deteriorating father locked away in a nursing home, would conspire with the best lawyer in town to split the estate between them and keep her as far away from any of it as possible. The idea of such an outcome made her irate. She wanted to talk about it with Greta, but didn’t want to come off as money-grubbing, so chose to stay silent.
Greta, however, was having similar thoughts, and didn’t have quite as much trepidation about the matter. “This whole thing with the will,” she began, breaking the silence as the Subaru turned into the town square. “It reminds me so much of the all the problems with Murphy and Peter.”
“Who’s Peter?” Eddie asked from the backseat, suddenly distracted from the seemingly quaint scenery.
“You mean Uncle Peter?” Megan asked. Greta nodded.
“Peter is my older brother,” she said, turning up her head so her voice would carry back to Eddie. “It was Peter, then me, then Murphy, Megan’s father. Those two never got along. I had some moments with both of them over the years, but nothing like when Pete and Murph got into it. It wasn’t unusual to see them out on the lawn, trying to bury each other into the dirt with their fists. Hot-blooded is an understatement. Even when they got older, grown men, they still carried on like that. And it’s not like they were a couple of roughnecks. Murphy played football and Peter played baseball, but they weren’t exactly professional athletes. They were both intelligent. Peter worked at the plant doing research and Murphy was an administrator. They just had a really tough time getting along. I suppose Murph becoming Pete’s boss didn’t help things any.”
“Plant…?” Eddie prodded.
Megan was aware of some of the details about the nuclear power plant’s history, she knew the family fortune had come from it, but for the most part she was vague on the specifics. Greta elaborated for them both. “My father opened the Putnam Nuclear Power Plant back in the late fifties. It was his dream, maybe even the love of his life, and he hoped his children would one day join him in its operation. Not so much me, really. My father was an Old World type and thought I should just marry well and get to making babies. Wouldn’t he be disappointed to see me now, divorced and childless at my age? Anyway, Peter was always more book smart, whereas Murphy had a head for business and was a natural leader. So my father put Peter to work in the lab, while he groomed Murphy to be his successor in leading the company. Things were fine, for a little while at least. But as the science of nuclear power progressed Peter became more interested in finding ways to make the plant run more efficiently, more cleanly, providing safer power for a lower cost. Of course, a more efficient plant meant fewer workers, and cheaper rates meant less revenue. My father was closely tied to the community and his obligations didn’t allow him to be laying off local workers. Murphy sided with him, which didn’t make things any better between him and Peter. So fast forward about a year, Peter had been trying to make the best of the situation, or so we thought at the time. He had continued his research and experiments and had started leaking his findings to nearby plants, basically helping the competition. Murphy found out and warned him to stop. But, just days after their confrontation, there was an explosion at the plant. Dozens of workers were either injured or killed. I was working as a nurse by then and helped out on some of those men. It was horrible, the things the radiation had done to them, it was hard to image and even worse to witness firsthand. Later it was discovered that the accident was the result of outdated equipment, machines and safety measures that should have been replaced years before. Our father was in a tough spot, about to be held responsible for the worst catastrophe in Putnam history. But then he found a report from Murphy about Peter’s leaking information. It made him so mad that he twisted things around, rewrote history and put the blame solely on Peter. Peter was the head of Research and Development, it was suddenly his responsibility to monitor the equipment and report when things needed to be updated. The town demanded Peter’s resignation and Peter, feeling betrayed, was more than happy to give it. He left town soon after that and I’ve barely heard from him since. My father died a few years later and Murphy assumed control of the plant. Later on, when Murphy went public with his Parkinson’s, the town forced him to retire and replaced him with a board of directors. That didn’t last long and, eventually, the plant was closed down.”
“I never knew that,” Megan said, her head swimming with information about a close relative that she’d never met. “I never knew that that was why Uncle Peter left town. Dad’s side of the story didn’t give much detail. He just kind of made the guy sound like a jerk.”
“Well, I’m not going to say your uncle was the easiest guy to get along with,” Greta confessed. “I think he spent too much time in his own head, expected the world to bend to his will or something. But he had his moments. My father cut him out of the will because of what he called espionage. I didn’t totally agree with it, but Peter never seemed to show any interest in the money anyway.”
“So you and dad ended up splitting it?” Megan asked.
“Not evenly,” Greta rolled her eyes. “Murphy was clearly your grandfather’s favorite. Add to that the fact that I didn’t have a part in the family business and I sympathized with Peter’s opinions about efficiency and safety and…let’s just say my slice of the pie was significantly smaller than what your dad walked away with. It’s enough that I can devote a good amount of my time to volunteer work, so that’s enough for me.”
Megan wondered, had she known all of this years ago, would history be repeating itself now?
Trafalgar Brothers Funeral Home looked almost like any other house in Putnam, white clapboard siding, perfectly trimmed shrubbery, and a cul du sac driveway of dark tarmac leading you from the street to the steps of the front porch and back to the street. The only indicator of something out of the ordinary was the unavoidable brick and bronze sign resting dead center on the lawn in the middle of the driveway announcing the business conducted inside.
Megan put the car in park and the trio filed out and into the lobby of the mortuary. A black board stood next to a wide set of stairs with rich, red carpeting. It had detachable letters giving the information of the services in progress. The first listing read:
MR. HOWARD OTIS FUNERAL SERVICES AT 4:00 FRONT ROOM
Just below that was a second listing:
MRS. CLAIRE AUSTIN-READE WAKE FROM 6:00 FUNERAL SERVICES SUNDAY AT 3:00 GARDEN ROOM
Mrs. Austin-Reade’s funeral would overlap with her mother’s, Megan thought. While people were waking Helen Kroeger in the Front room, a more fluid event, others would be saying their final good-byes to Claire in the Garden room. Howard Otis would already be in the ground and Mrs. Austin-Reade would be her mother’s final roommate. Megan felt the urge to meet this woman who would be sharing the bill at the culmination of her mother’s life.
To her left, through a slightly cracked pair of twin sliding doors, she could see the setup for the Otis funeral, his casket seemingly resting on a platform of flowers, with even more floral arrangements surrounding him, rows of chairs lined up for the coming morbid production. His casket was open and she could see the tip of his nose cresting above the side walls of the elegant box. The Garden Room must be beyond the staircase, she concluded and proceeded forward. At the back of the stairs were two doors, only one that could lead to a room large enough for a funeral. She turned the knob and walked in, finding the room empty of chairs, but likewise adorned with large collections of flowers, the size and extravagance of each a final attempt to convey sympathy, a macabre competition between family members and friends to show who cared more for the deceased.
Claire Austin-Reade’s coffin was closed. Megan approached it and touched the lid, running her fingers gently over the smooth mahogany, following the contours down to the polished brass handles. How odd, she thought, the amount of detail and luxury for something that was just going to be put in the ground and covered with dirt. Why was Mrs. Austin-Reade’s casket closed, she wondered. Had she been mangled in some horrible accident, like an explosion at a nuclear power plant? Or had her face been so ravaged by disease, cancer maybe, that to see her would only further upset those who mourned her passing? Maybe the woman was just anti-social and wanted to be left alone rather than gawked at by passersby and weeping relations.
“Excuse me…” a voice of practiced calm announced its presence behind her. Megan turned to see the funeral home director. He was an aging man, Abe Trafalgar, most likely himself soon to be the main attraction at his own carnival of the dearly departed. Or maybe not so soon. He looked healthy for his age. Would his casket be open or closed, she mused.
“I’m sorry,” Megan said, suspecting they had rules about strangers inspecting other people’s funerals when no one was around.
“No problem,” Abe said, his tone lightening. “I don’t think Mrs. Austin-Reade will mind.”
“If you don’t mind my asking,” she ventured, “why is her casket closed? Was her face ruined or something?”
“Actually, the casket is empty,” he informed her, to Megan’s confusion. “Mrs. Austin-Reade died in a plane crash over the ocean. Her body was never recovered. The casket is just symbolic. It helps people to achieve closure if they have something to say good-bye to.”
“So you bury an empty casket?” she asked.
“We try to accommodate the requests of the bereaved as best we can.” He smiled, segueing into sales mode. “And what can we do for you?”
From there Megan and Greta, with Eddie following close behind, were escorted into the office of the funeral home, an office with a wall of coffin ends displayed in soft lighting and a desk with numerous photo albums lined up on it, the entire room accented with intricate, rich wood paneling. Abe Trafalgar sat behind the desk and opened a ledger, reading off bits of information regarding the impending Helen Kroeger service. “I see that this is a bit of a rush, the deceased didn’t leave any specific instructions or arrangements. Not a problem,” he assured, standing up and moving toward the wall of partial caskets. “I suggest we start with which coffin you think Mrs. Kroeger would have liked. I will tell you that these,” he pointed out four of the twelve, “ are out of stock right now. Considering the immediacy of the situation, it would probably be best to steer clear of those. She was a normal sized woman?” Greta nodded, intensely contemplating the coffin designs. There were two that she was instantly drawn to, but the weight of the circumstances made an impulse buy seem inappropriate.
She pointed out her favorites and Abe gave her the rundown on all the bells and whistles that came with each model. Greta let out an occasional, “Oh,” or an, “Uh-huh,” taking everything into account before she made her recommendation.
“How do we even know she wanted a coffin?” Megan asked, standing away from the wall. All eyes turned to her as the deal making came to a sudden halt. “I mean, how do we know she even wanted to be buried? Maybe she wanted to be cremated. Or buried at sea, like the Vikings used to do.” The schoolteacher in her was suddenly dredging up a litany of burial rituals from the annals of history.
“I don’t think your mother wanted to be buried at sea like a Viking,” Greta said, amused despite the grim subject matter.
“So what about cremation?” She turned to Abe Trafalgar. “Do you guys handle that kind of thing here?”
“Well, yes we can arrange…” he stuttered, caught off guard mid-pitch.
Eddie moved toward Megan and put his hands on her shoulders, “do you think your mother would want to be cremated?”
“I don’t know,” Megan admitted. “Maybe. Maybe not. None of us really know. Maybe she hated the idea of a funeral and wasting space putting a decaying body in the ground. Maybe she wanted to be reduced to ashes and have those ashes spread somewhere that had some deep meaning to her, someplace she never told anyone else about. Or maybe she just didn’t care what we did with her body because she’s left it and dead people can’t feel anything anyway. We could do whatever we wanted to her now and she’ll never hold it against us, because she’s gone and she’s not coming back.”
She broke free from Eddie’s grip and stormed out of the room. He looked to Greta who was lost for advice. To Abe and all he got was a pair of eyes staring at the floor, like someone who was being polite by pretending not to notice a private scene. Eddie followed his wife’s trail out the door. The last thing he heard before he left the room was Greta saying to Abe Trafalgar, “I think we’ll take the Danbury.”
Eddie found Megan sitting in the driver’s seat of her Subaru Impreza in the driveway of the Trafalgar Brothers Funeral Home, doing her best to get a crying fit under control. He leaned in the window, “Meg…?” he said, as sympathetic and invitingly as possible.
“I’m alright,” she managed between sniffles. “I’ll be okay. Everything just kind of caught up to me for a second there.”
He unlatched the door and took the seat next to her. “That’s to be expected,” he comforted. “I’m actually surprised you’ve managed to hold back as much as you have. You know, it’s okay to cry.”
Megan sucked snot back into her nose, sighed heavily, and took back control of her emotions, her expression becoming stern. “Not in front of these people it isn’t.”
Ten minutes later Greta finished her business with the funeral director and got into the car, checking to make sure Megan was all right. Megan curtly assured her that she was. Eddie flashed Greta a look that told her to let the conversation drop. And she did.