"Those who can, do. Those who can’t, bitch about it on the Internet." -Simon, from The Book of Simon
Some bios list credentials, such as: Education BFA in Illustration, Massachusetts College of Art Occupation Former Production Slave, Ballantine Books Comics Credits Columnist, Writer, Artist, Editor Etc…
And some bios tell a story, such as: I can remember sitting in front of my television one morning, watching the old Batman show, when Julie Newmar appeared in that skintight black leather outfit as Catwoman. It was my first boy/girl thing. >A year later I was in kindergarten telling Katherine Burke that I loved her. It’s pretty much been a string of stupid mistakes ever since…
Still other bios state an intent, such as: This is a series of essays illustrating the life of one particular struggling artist as he plods through the world and occasionally bumps into some interesting shit.
But most bios just sit to the right of the column and are never looked at. So ignore this space and just read the damn column already…
My contacts are officially spent. I’ve gotten word back from everyone I sent a manuscript to and now I have a pile of opinions and suggestions to think through. Is the book going to be published? How much of it am I going to change? Are those changes for the better? How far am I willing to bend before I become a prick and start whining about my ‘artistic vision’ being compromised? And most importantly, what’s my next move?
Watts As you can probably imagine, Watt’s loved my book from the start. She’s been my biggest support this whole time and has read the damn thing more times than even I have. Since she works as a Production Editor I respect and value her opinion. But let’s face it, she’s my girlfriend. No matter how honest she is with me, and she has been pretty honest, she’s still going to hold back a little for the sake of my feelings. The proof of this has been seeing her agree with other opinions as they come in, other people pointing out things she never did. If it ever came down to having to copyedit the thing, she’d be the first person I went to. But for a comprehensive analysis of the strengths and weaknesses of the book, it’s just a bad idea to base everything on her opinion.
Some of the things she’s said have echoed other people’s comments. The first hundred pages or so is too long, which is to say it takes too long to get to the thrust of the novel. There are too many short stories strung together before you get to the main story. This was my attempt to create a backstory, to set up the change that the character makes which propels the novel forward. Considering how unusual the change is, I figured I should justify it as much as possible so as to make it believable under the circumstances. But apparently I take too long to do it. Luckily it’s well-written, or I might not have held the readers long enough for them to make that assessment.
Agent #1 The second person to read my novel was an agent I contacted thanks to an editor friend at Del Rey (not that my first novel is at all sci-fi). She read the novel quickly and within a week I had her response. First she praised my abilities as a writer. Then she told me she didn’t have enough interest in my novel to agent it. However, she had enough interest in my writing that she left the door open and said she would be more than happy to read something else I came up with. So, that infamous naïve optimism of mine sees that as not a total failure. At the very least she is willing to give me a second chance once I finish my new novel.
Moby Up next was a friend and the inspiration for the true story of the novel. Back in the summer I had mentioned the initial idea to Moby at a bar. When he first heard my pitch he was noticeably offended by the concept. He took it as an insult to his lifestyle. It was at that point, his reaction, that I finally had my novel. What was originally just a book about a disgruntled guy and his sexual misadventures in New York became more about the effects those misadventures have on his friendships (it’s a bit more original than that, but I’m not giving out the twist on the Internet). I had an entire second half for the book that I’d never even thought of, and a better primary story that I felt made the whole thing stronger. And all because I pissed off a friend.
And so I was very anxious for Moby to read the first draft and see what he thought. To his credit he was very forthcoming with his opinions. Moby is also a book person, until recently a Project Manager at a publishing house here in New York, and with a Masters in English sitting on his wall. So he knows what he’s talking about. And the fact that he was outright angered by my original concept and willing to tell me so made me trust that his dissection of the novel would be useful.
Moby was the first one to tell me that my main character is hard to sympathize with. Watts had grumbled something about that but never made too big a point about it, leading me to believe that I could get away with having a guy who’s slightly a prick be the focus. But Moby had more trouble with it than she did, so I put it on my list of things to rethink. He also told me that the change that sets off the main premise of the novel comes too quickly. Which isn’t to say that the backstory isn’t long enough. In fact, Moby was another person to point out that the backstory is too long. Which puts me in an interesting bind. How do I shorten the backstory that justifies the central change but make the change slower and more natural? It wasn’t going to be easy.
Other things he mentioned was that I was too specific with my New York locations. Throughout the book scenes are set in actual bars and actual street corners and actual subway stops. I thought I was adding a layer of authenticity to the whole thing, but Moby thinks that the casual reader doesn’t really need to know that the N train runs through Astoria, Queens and the R train runs through Long Island City, Queens, but they both run on the same track in Manhattan. It was one of his nitpicks and one of the few things I contest. I have to have some backbone when it comes to my novel, afterall.
The Book Packager I took a course on Book Packaging at NYU and the teacher was big on seeing us all get a book into print. Mine was one of the few fiction projects in the class and he was intrigued by the high concept pitch. I sent him a copy of the manuscript to see if he would be willing to pass it along to any agents he knew. Two months later we talked on the phone.
Again I was told that my main character is hard to sympathize with. I was also told at this point that he’s a bit one-dimensional, the curse of death for a main character (unless of course you’re John Grisham). The book packager also had trouble believing the change that occurs. He wasn’t clear as to what the main character wants, what his motivation is, because I hint that it’s more complex than what it apparently is, but I don’t seem to deliver strong enough for the reader. So much for subtly I guess.
I was beginning to sense a pattern and was already coming up with ways to fix the problem. The packager gave his own suggestions on fixing it. One idea he presented was to write some chapters from a different perspective. The book is almost all first person, which ends up putting a lot of weight on the main character. At one point we step outside his head and I designed that for a specific impact. I think to include other chapters from different perspectives would diminish the significance of that one chapter. For another book it might work, but I’m just not sure it’s fitting for this one. Maybe I’m being stubborn and close-minded, but I doubt it. If I’m willing to accept that my main character is unsympathetic and maybe one-dimensional than it would seem that I’m open to suggestions. Just not this one. The packager suggested rewriting the first hundred pages, and I think that will be something I end up doing because the consensus seems to support it.
A few other comments he made were that he was intrigued by the main characters attitude toward his day job and the apparent desperation of the New York club scene as I presented it. He wanted to see more of these two ideas, but admitted that that might just reflect his personal interests. That’s something to keep in mind when getting opinions and suggestions with a novel. Everyone has their own agenda and just because they suggest something doesn’t necessarily mean it’s best for the story. The book isn’t about day jobs and office life. Giving more time to the main character sitting at his desk could result in the same problem I’m having with too much backstory. The book packager might love the change but everyone else might think it detracts from everything else. So it comes down to picking and choosing which opinions I extract from our phone discussion.
Agent #2 On Monday I heard back from the second, and final, agent I have any kind of connection to. It had taken her some time to get back to me, thanks to a nasty problem with her hand that required multiple surgeries. When someone tells you they can almost make a fist after two weeks of rehab you know it was bad.
The short of it was much the same as the first agent. She liked my writing but didn’t feel strongly enough about the novel to take it on. She told me that she read to about page 230 (of 300) before she put it down. This might sound like a bad thing, but when she told me that with most books she doesn’t even get to page 50 she assured me that it’s obvious I have a gift for writing. So she doesn’t hate my writing, she just hates my novel. Okay, so maybe that’s a harsh take on it.
Her comments echoed those I’d already received. This time, though, the main character is shallow, not one-dimensional. She found it hard, as a woman, to sympathize with him. So I’m back to the same problem. She had issues with the fact that he was a writer, since he didn’t seem terribly observant and wondered how he came to wanting to be a writer in the first place.
She ended by saying that she really enjoyed my writing, had read some of my columns, and would be more than happy to read something else I wrote. I told her I had a second novel I was working on and she told me to feel free to send it to her once it was finished. And so, another door that remains open for future use.
Now What? In my defense, the novel really turns on its ear around page 250 and a lot of things start to become clear. The change results in some nastiness and there is a bittersweet sort of enlightenment that the main character achieves at the end. One of the ideas that I’m fascinated with is damaged people doing the wrong things for the wrong reasons. It’s not an easy pill to swallow sometimes, especially when you wrap it in a blanket of subversive sex and moral ambiguity. Now, all that probably sounds like the bullshit defense of a shitty writer, someone trying to make their novel sound more than it actually is. But the truth is that I’ve come up with a complex concept for a story and I wasn’t completely successful in the first execution. For my first novel I attempted to tackle a difficult idea and there ended up being some flaws along the way. Never once did I hear that I couldn’t write or that the novel was horrible. It’s just not ready yet. And why would it be, we’re talking first draft here.
So now what? Do I retool the first novel or simply abandon it and move on? Maybe a little of both. I have to figure out how much I’m willing to change to see it published. I’m having a little trouble with the idea that I have to make my main character sympathetic. Jack Nicholson has made an entire career out of playing pricks, why can’t I write a novel about one? Hell, I read Bukowski’s Women and wanted to kick the main characters ass for being such a misogynist. But then I remember that Bukowski was already established when he wrote that book. Once you get a few books out you can be the biggest dick imaginable. Max Allan Collins is convinced every word he puts on the page is gold and refuses almost all changes made by copyeditors. There are a lot of people who grumble when they have to work on one of his books, but he’s still getting published. So I’m thinking maybe I should hold onto my first novel, wait until I have a few under my belt, and then use my clout to push this one through.
That’s more of a long-term plan, though. For now I’m thinking about making a few minor changes; shortening the backstory, inserting a few scenes that make the main character more likeable, a couple other touches here and there. Once those are done I’m going to look into serializing it on the web. I just proofread a book about becoming famous and I have a few ideas on how to generate some buzz around ol’ a/k/a. This volume of The Monkey House will be ending soon and I need to find some way to keep my writing out there on a regular basis. And if I can get the first book out on the Internet then I can focus on finishing book number two, a book I feel more confident about and think will be a bit easier for readers to handle. I’m also working on a third book at the same time and am almost positive that it will be loved by agents and editors. But maybe that’s just more of that nasty naïve optimism I get criticized for.
From The Monkey House a/k/a Simon You want optimism? Talk to me next week if I’ve been evicted.
The Random: Ya know, I’m no supporter of this war, and I find it incredibly disturbing when the right-wing media keeps tossing around the word ‘treason’ when discussing simple protesters marching in the streets of New York. But even I have a problem with a bunch of idiots hoping on a plane to Iraq to create a barricade of bodies between our army and theirs. Human shield my ass! That’s just plain stupid.
