"Those who can, do. Those who can’t, bitch about it on the Internet." -Simon, from The Book of Simon
Some bios list credentials, such as: Education BFA in Illustration, Massachusetts College of Art Occupation Former Production Slave, Ballantine Books Comics Credits Columnist, Writer, Artist, Editor Etc…
And some bios tell a story, such as: I can remember sitting in front of my television one morning, watching the old Batman show, when Julie Newmar appeared in that skintight black leather outfit as Catwoman. It was my first boy/girl thing. >A year later I was in kindergarten telling Katherine Burke that I loved her. It’s pretty much been a string of stupid mistakes ever since…
Still other bios state an intent, such as: This is a series of essays illustrating the life of one particular struggling artist as he plods through the world and occasionally bumps into some interesting shit.
But most bios just sit to the right of the column and are never looked at. So ignore this space and just read the damn column already…
The first one is in the hole. Last Friday I made my return to the halls of Random House, this time as a potential author handing in his completed manuscript. Watts was kind enough to print it out for me. The first draft came in at three hundred and eight pages. Less than I’d expected, but enough to be respectable. Of course, the first draft is barely the tip of the iceberg. Those words on the page have a long way to go before they get into the readers’ hands.
Art and Commerce I figured I’d spend this week covering the steps that go into book publication, at least from the process I’ve observed. In comics you can go from idea to retail in four months. The book industry is a lot slower and more thorough. I was told that the best I could expect was eighteen months from the time I handed in the first draft to seeing it on the shelf. But before we get to drafts, let’s talk business.
My editor suggested to me that I don’t get an agent involved for my first book. Now, before you think someone is trying to pull a fast one on me, let me explain the rationale. For the first-time author having an agent is usually necessary. Don’t kid yourself into thinking that just sending your manuscript in, as great as it might be, is a chance for publication. Another editor told me that, of the hundreds of manuscripts she receives in the mail each year, maybe one ends up getting published. Not so great odds. And don’t bother with FedEx, thinking it will draw attention to your work. All it does is annoy the editor whose day has been interrupted to sign for unsolicited material. Do that and your work is likely to get circular filed.
The best route is to get an agent. I can’t tell you how to go about that, since I don’t have one myself. I imagine I’ll get hooked up with one after the first book deal is done. But why not get an agent for book one? Well, I’ve already got myself off the slush pile, so that’s half of what the agent does. The other thing an agent does is try to get his client the most money possible. So why would that be a bad thing?
During the book deal, the primary thing you’re negotiating is the advance on royalties. The agent gets a percentage, so naturally he wants to push your price up. But for the first-time author that can actually be detrimental to a long career as a writer. See, the advance is based on how much money the publisher thinks your book will make. If it sells well enough you will get additional royalties every six months depending on continued sales. However, if the book doesn’t earn-out, then the money laid out for your advance ends up cutting into the publisher’s profits. They don’t like that. So when you’re trying to sell your next book they’re looking at the bottom line and seeing you as a profit loser. Makes signing that follow up deal a bit harder and you can be guaranteed it will be for less money than the first book.
So the logic presented by my editor was to take the smaller amount they offer for my first book and then go get an agent to negotiate for the next book or books. Her exact words, "rob us blind." Talk like that makes me think she isn’t trying to screw me over.
The advance is usually paid out in three installments. The first third is presented at the signing of the deal. The second bit is paid when a final manuscript is submitted and approved by the editor. You get the last of your money upon publication. So even if they drop a big number in your lap, keep in mind that that will be coming to you over a long period of time. I don’t even know if there’s going to be a deal or not and the first credit card company called the other day looking for money. Welcome to the life of a writer. Not quite F. Scott Fitzgerald, is it?
Drafted Book editing is divided into two divisions and three stages. The manuscript you hand in at the beginning is going to go through a lot of changes as it nears publication. Just a tip from someone who has worked with a lot of Production Editors, have your shit together up front and don’t be a dick about editorial changes. As a writer you’ve got the easy job. So don’t make life harder on the people who are shaping your pile of shit into a masterpiece. Nobody likes a primadonna.
Ok, that out of the way, let’s move on.
Don’t expect to get away with writing one draft. Very few people have that kind of control. You’re not Stephen King or John Grisham (would you want to be?). Be prepared to write three drafts. If you’re lucky the changes will be few with each revision. If you’re not, you may be in for a long period of adjustment. I heard that it took six years for the editor to make The Corrections into something they wanted to publish. Keep that in mind.
The person you call Editor isn’t like your English teacher from high school. She isn’t going to nit-pick about your punctuation or spelling. An Editor’s job, in regards to the actual written work, is to help you mold the manuscript into an affective novel. She reads it through several times and will look for the weak points. When she comes back to you she will have suggestions on how to tighten up the plot or round out some of the characters. Basically her goal is to make your work a story that people walk away from satisfied.
All the grammar nonsense is dumped on the Production Editors. Once your editor has approved the manuscript it will move on to Copyediting. This is where all the dangling participles and accidental double negatives are corrected. The Production Editor sends your manuscript out to some freelancers who mercilessly go through it to make it look like you actually knew how to string a sentence together in the first place. These people are doing God’s work. Bless them.
After a few runs through the Copyeditors, with your approval of course, the book gets typeset. The compositor prints them out on regular printer paper, but the text is arranged exactly how it will appear on the printed page. These are the proofs, which need someone to read through for errors. Naturally this job goes to the proofreader. At this stage not a hell of a lot can be changed, unless you want to pay for it. Just a reminder, don’t be an ass. Change things when it goes to paperback if you really feel the need to. If you go screwing with it in proofs you’re going to piss off your Production Editor and make their day more stressful. That’s like pissing off the waiter who’s serving your food. You’ll never know if they spit in it.
Once the proofs are approved that’s pretty much it. The book goes to press, gets sent to the warehouse, and is shipped out to Barnes & Noble for all the eager consumers. Sure, there’s marketing and advertising to think about. And we could talk about returns or subrights. But I haven’t even gotten close to all that yet. We’ll save it for another column.
From The Monkey House a/k/a Simon People are alive; rolls are just tasty
The Random: Well, the results are in and the Democrats got spanked. The GOP controls everything and is claiming to be the party of the future. There’s a scary thought. Get your abortions now, ladies.
