The Foot Fairy Justification

By Buddy Scalera

Nearly 15 years ago I learned a lesson in humility that I remember to this day. I was on the football team.

Football`s a manly sport, incidentally; unlike soccer which is for losers, sissies and Marys. I believe the term I used for soccer players was "foot fairies".

And then, from twenty yards away, this foot fairy kicked a speeding soccer ball at my face. It hit me with such force that it shattered my glasses, caused blood to gush from my nose and knocked me flat on my back.

I believe that was the last time I ever called a soccer player a foot fairy.

The moral of this story was simple: I underestimated foot fai... soccer players, and I paid the price. I forced the other guy to JUSTIFY his beliefs.

This painful memory came up because someone forwarded (yet another) newspaper article that reminded readers "comics aren`t just for kids".

As expected, the writer was tapping into old clichés about how comics aren`t "just superheroes", and readers (if they looked reallllllly hard at the indy section) could find good-quality stories.

Now, don`t get me wrong, I read lots of indy books. No less than seven packed longboxes are packed solid with indy comics. I enjoy lots of offbeat, non-superhero comics.

[IMG2R]But, I have also been guilty of this snooty attitude with regards to mainstream superhero comics. I guess I believed that people wouldn`t want to read comics if they thought they were "just about superheroes in spandex". I, too, tried turning "regular people" on to comics by steering them towards the "good stuff".

But then I realized there was just as much... if not more... badly written junk in the independent, non-superhero section. Maybe more.

This next statement will probably come back to haunt me in years to come, but... COMICS NEED EDITORS.

I don`t mean just production managers, but real, honest-to-goodness editors. And mainstream stuff by Marvel, DC, WildStorm, Top Cow, Black Bull, Dark Horse and CrossGen have some really outstanding comics BECAUSE of editors.

Many self-published comics suck because they don`t have those editors. The books are often self-absorbed, dull and pointless because there is no editorial conscience to the stories.

But for some STUPID reason, as if guided by invisible hands, we push non-traditional readers into the arms of these mediocre books. Do we really hope to JUSTIFY our existence by pushing them to our equivalent of artsy foreign films?

[IMG3R]I`m not talking about the rare and coveted indy book that works because the writer understands good, commercial writing. Hell, a lot of these guys including Greg Rucka, Brian Michael Bendis, Garth Ennis and David Mack end up writing superhero stories anyway. These are guys that are SO good, that they could write anything well. These are the exception, not the rule. It`s a mistake for any average dope to think that what they do is easily attainable. You wanna write like Rucka, Bendis, Ennis or Mack...? Good luck. It`s not as easy as they make it look.

In college, I watched hours of dull art films, trying desperately to understand the subtle juxtapositions between texture, light and motivation. In one issue of Batman, I understand motivation. That`s good writing.

[IMG4R]I plowed through Shakespeare`s "comedies" trying to find one good joke. But I can tell you that I laughed out loud at Kelly`s early Deadpool, Priest`s Quantum & Woody and Giffen/DeMatteis` Justice League of America. That`s good writing.

Face it, some of the best writing in the world can be found in superhero comics. It`s just a little hard to find because a new issue comes out every month.

But why is it that we hold up some lame-ass art comic as the best our industry can offer? Is it because we`re embarrassed that we`re overwhelmingly attracted to superhero stories?

[IMG5R]Back on the playing field, a guy who was smaller than me proved that you really shouldn`t force someone to justify what they love. That kid loved soccer and wasn`t going to get bullied by big, stupid me. And he shut me the hell up.

And right now, I`m getting a little tired of hearing that lame-ass talking head comics are somehow superior to superhero stories. Some are, some aren`t. It doesn`t have anything to do with the subject matter as it does with good writers and editors putting out readable, commercial material.

If you know a non-traditional reader who is interested in checking out some comics, give them the best of what the mainstream has to offer. There`s plenty of variety in the mainstream.

And the next time you see some quirky, bohemian journalist hovering around a comic book store trying to do an interview, offer an opinion about your favorite comics. Don`t try to mold your answers to satisfy his elitist story angle.

And if he doesn`t listen, take a running start and kick a soccer ball into his face and smash his glasses. Sometimes that works.

[IMG6R]RECOMMENDED READING:
CrossGen Chronicles #2
Hulk Smash #1-2
Harley Quinn #4
Ultimate Spider-Man
Peter Parker, Spider-Man

RECOMMENDED MOVIE:
15 Minutes

RANDOM THOUGHT:
How different would comics have been if Stan went to DC and Jack had stayed at Marvel?